Our Grand Adventure

Today in our Relief Society Class at church we discussed the talk by Elder Uchtdorf titled “Your Great Adventure”.  He begins his talk with a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, and some of his own words, open quote:

A beloved children’s fantasy novel written many years ago begins with the sentence “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”  The story of Bilbo Baggins is about a most normal and unremarkable hobbit who is presented with the most remarkable opportunity - the wonderful chance at adventure and the promise of great reward.

The problem is that most self-respecting hobbits want nothing to do with adventures.  Their lives are all about comfort.  They enjoy eating six meals a day when they can get them and spend their days in their gardens, swapping tales with visitors, singing, playing musical instruments, and basking in the simple joys of life.

However, when Bilbo is presented with the prospect of a grand adventure, something surged deep within his heart.  He understands from the outset that the journey will be challenging.  Even dangerous. There is even a possibility he might not return.

And yet, the call to adventure has reached deep into his heart.  And so, this unremarkable hobbit leaves comfort behind and enters the path to a great adventure that will take him all the way to “there and back again.”   Close quote.

As I was listening to this lesson I was reminded of the talk and my feelings when I first heard it.  I feel like our family is on one of these Grand Adventures.  Our blog is even called Our Transplant Adventure.  When this adventure began, I knew I would much rather stay in my shire and do my normal comfortable things with my family and friends around me.  I did not want to head out on what appeared to be a scary, somewhat challenging and maybe long adventure. But, the possibility of a great reward, Benjamin receiving a life changing transplant, made the adventure worthwhile.

So 17 months ago we began our “Grand Adventure”, our Transplant Adventure.  I am amazed at how this adventure has changed me and changed my family.  Leaving the comforts of home, family and friends seemed like more than I could handle. But, with faith in Heavenly Fathers plan and the support of so many, I have realized how much more I was capable of.  Being out of my comfort zone and allowing myself to be stretched, has allowed me to be taught and strengthened in ways I cannot describe.  I am forever grateful for the rocky roads, smooth trails and rolling hills of this adventure in my life.  It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s worth it.

We’ve experienced so much.  We’ve now had 3 transplant calls.  With each one we thought this is finally what we’ve been waiting for.  But, for different reasons each organ donor didn’t work out for Ben in the end.   We’ve learned a lot about transplants, the transplant process and organ donation.  We’ve learned that being an organ donor is one of the greatest gifts you can give, the gift of hope and life to others. I’ve overcome my fear of flying and now fly back and forth from Ohio to Utah with the ease of a seasoned traveler.  We’ve visited some beautiful places and seen fall colors like we had never seen before. We’ve met amazing people from all walks of life. We’ve made new friends who influence our lives for the better and we’ve learned that home can be more than one place at a time.

I want to take a moment to thank all of our family, friends, our Utah ward family, our two Ohio ward families, and our transplant team for the support, encouragement and love you’ve shown us.  We have been blessed by the generous hearts of so many.  We have been blessed by the prayers of so many and we are grateful to you all!

On November 22nd Ben and I hopped on a plane headed to Utah for his first trip home in 17 months. It has been wonderful having our whole family in one place for a few weeks.  We have truly enjoyed every moment.  I wish I had taken more pictures, but honestly I was too busy soaking in the family time to think about a picture.  We’re grateful for all the family and friends who came to visit Ben and made his time “home” even more memorable.  In just a few days he heads back “home” to Ohio followed by dad a few days later, and we’ll find ourselves separated by many miles again.  But, we know it won’t be forever.  We know that soon we’ll receive the transplant call that is meant just for Ben. And then we’ll start on the “back again” part of our adventure, which will have new rocky roads and rolling hills and we look forward to each step.

So, with a heart full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father and his Son, my elder brother Jesus Christ I just wanted to share that sometimes the seemingly difficult and long adventure that we are all on is exactly the adventure we need, to change us, and to help us get out of our shire and impact the lives of those we come in contact with. I know that our family’s adventure “all the way there and back again” will be worth every step.

Below are a few of the pictures I did happen to take, in the next day and a half I’ll try and capture a few more.

Oh my heart... I love these two.

My family

Cousins

Smiles

Nintendo Switch time..

Frozen II

Favorite songs from the movie “Lost in the Woods”

“The Next Right Thing”

“Some Things Never Change” 

Your Great Adventure by Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf

The Deep Ends

Written By: Ben

"I want to see mountains again Gandalf, Mountains!..."

I will get back to this quote in a bit, but I wanted to start off with not only a great quote, but a quote from one of my all time favorite movies. Anyways I am going to get right to the meat and potatoes of this post, and don't worry it will include an update on my health. 

A story as always to hopefully express some of my feelings. When I was around six years old we had a hot tub that sat in the backyard around the corner from the downstairs back door. One night after my Pops and I had sat in it for a bit, it was time to go inside. Normally I would get out first and Dad would close up the hot tub, but on this night that was not the case. The cover that went over the hot tub was a heavy brown insulated cover. It slid over half of the tub and then unfolded to cover the other half. On this night Dad slid the first half on and then hopped out to grab our towels whilst I stayed in the warmth of the tub. Well in my young mind I thought I would help Dad by closing the cover on the hot tub, but I was too weak to get out and do it from the outside of the hot tub. So as you can guess I waded to the other half of the hot tub in an attempt to help. Now I need to clarify something, the way this particular hot tub was designed was similar to many others in the fact that it had a significantly deeper portion in the center (truthfully only about three and a half feet deep). As I walked on the shallow outside edges I slipped into the deep middle portion and partially under the already covered half of the tub. Being startled I gulp in a substantial amount of hot water and started to panic.  As I floundered and continued to swallow water I became all the more terrified. Before I knew it I was drowning in the backyard. After what felt like eternities to my tiny self; my Father pushed off the rest of the cover and plucked me out of the evil clutches of the hot tub deep end. 

A few things about this story, one is that truthfully I was only drowning for maybe twenty seconds, and second was that my Father was never that far away.

I am gonna start with the second point, because it flows better in my mind. Truth be told my Dad may not even remember this happening or if he does, he may remember it completely differently. Even if that is the case my point still stands, on that day and many days since then my sweet Father has saved me from more "deep ends" than I can count or dare to admit. 

Now to my twenty seconds of drowning. I don't know how long or short the actual period of time was, but it still serves my purposes. 

This last week has been in all reality, brutal. It has been a very difficult week. I received an infusion that I reacted adversely to; and I have been in a state both emotionally and physically that my family and friends refer to as a "funk". I am sure many of you have felt in one way or another similar to how I have felt this week... Like I was drowning. 

I usually try to be very happy go lucky and positive on this blog and in life, but this post is going to be a little more vulnerable and raw. I like to think I am a positive and cheerful guy probably an abnormally abundant amount of the time, but I also have rare stretches where that is not the case. This last week was one of them, indeed I was drowning heart, body, and soul. Although a lot of people attempt to try and get me out of these funks, most of the time I have to pull myself out or at least it feels that way. 

This last week I was missing home, family, the mountains, a front porch, my motorcycle, my jobs, school, good health, my nice body, in essence "my old life". I don't like to say it often, but I miss being "normal", (even though lets face it, I was never normal). I doubt I can explain it or even describe a semblance of how it feels, but I watch what I thought was supposed to be my life with an envy and jealousy that at times burns more fiercely than any fire can. (Now I want it to be known, and have tried to make it known, that I wouldn't change a thing, but that doesn't alter how I feel sometimes and in truth it is not what I wish to focus on in this post). I always do my best to act tough and put my best foot forward, to "drown smiling" for lack of a better term. I don't like admitting these things out loud, but I feel it is important for others to know what it is truly like, not just all the smiles and good times. Some days it is all I can do to cling to hope and pray for a better world; (Ether 12:4 [Book of Mormon]) just hoping that one even exists for me at the end of all of this. Now I know there is one for me, but even sometimes what we know can be clouded by the stresses and fears of a difficult moment. Indeed there are nights where we wonder if the dawn will ever come, and sooner or later, it always does. In fact I promise that it does, I have been pushed past my breaking point more times than I can count in my life, and especially so in these last few years. Even with everything I'm going through, I live a blessed life that is filled with so many amazing miracles, I can scarce take it in. Indeed my Father in Heaven has never been far from me. 

 Be prepared to be bombarded with pictures of said mountains that I miss so dearly.

 I know everyone says that the Autumn back here in Ohio is stunning, but there will always be a place in my heart for the "mountains of fire" that happen during my favorite time of year. Also this is Wanderer (front) and Traveler (back). Mom is not a fan, but it is something my Pops and I love to do. Riding a motorcycle brings a sense of freedom that is difficult to describe, but astounding to experience (especially when it is on small country roads in the mountains). 

 I have taken many people to both of these waterfalls, and have been to each a ridiculous amount of times, but every time I go back I feel just a little closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. I don't think I will ever be able to thank them enough for the beautiful and sacred places on this earth.

 I just can't get over how beautiful this world is.

 Zion's National Park in the snow is a sight to behold that I wish people could see more often. The white and red make for an unforgettable sight.

 To end this blog post I wanted to put up a more ridiculous picture. I was attempting to make fun of my little sister who loves to pose for a good "Instagram worthy" pic. Plus I figure after a semi serious blog post it would be good to wrap up with a picture of me just being my nerdy, goof ball self. 

A Little Rock n' Roll

Written By: Ben

To start off this blog post I was curious if y'all actually prefer the weekly posts or the longer gaps between each post? I am still going to write in it once a week I think, but I am curious what the general opinion is.

This post will probably not be as long as some of the others, but we will see what happens. In fact it will most likely be a ton shorter.  This post was also written a week after my last one just in case someone decides to try and give me crap about it being longer than a week. (Seeing as it won't be uploaded until the morning after it was written.)

This last week was a long one if I am being honest, mainly because I was sick for about five out of the seven days. I just started some antibiotics a few days ago and they already seem to be making a huge difference. Weeks like these help me realize that I am out here for a reason and although they are hard they also give me the strength to continue on the journey. Truthfully a lot of things help me continue pushing forward, and many of them are so insignificantly small that one would think little to nothing of them. 

A story or some background to help express my thoughts. Ever since I can remember my family has loved listening to, and enjoying music. I remember dancing around and goofing off as a small kid to a wide variety of music. I love just about every type of music, and this is very apparent as you scroll through my phone. Although I enjoy a ton of music, there are certain songs and genres that will always have a place in my heart. One of these is Classic Rock, now I know that classification is super vague, so perhaps some examples: Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Journey, CCR, Scorpions, Def Leppard, Kansas, Guns N' Roses, Styx, and a whole lot more.
 Anyways I remember countless times when Dad and I would be off on some adventure jamming out to Classic Rock. My Father instilled in me a love for this era of music and truly all eras of music. Now that I have given a tad of background, I want to share a more specific experience. That being said I have had several experiences that are very similar to the one I am going to share.
 In High School I had a close group of friends, and this group of buds and I would come home to my house for lunch during my Junior and Senior years. We had many after school activities together, and hung out often. Hence we were in the car driving from place to place A LOT. Although I no longer remember where we were going or what we were doing; I remember one night during senior year we were driving to some forlorn destination. For whatever reason we weren't in the greatest spirits and weren't really chatting or being our normal selves. Well after a few moments of pained silence I plug in my phone to the old cassette tape adapter and hit shuffle (just to give us some noise and perhaps pass the time). Wouldn't you know a certain song comes on over the speakers... "Livin on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. (I am certain that if you were to play this song in a crowded room well over 80% would sing along to the chorus, maybe not out loud but definitely in their heads). It takes only moments for the small group of us to have the car just about bouncing off of its axles as we all but scream along to the lyrics. In an instant the sour mood and somber spirits were obliterated by a song that just has a way of making the listener forget about their cares and "rock out". Even now when that song comes on, I still cant help but jam and poorly attempt to sing along. Now Bon Jovi may not be your cup of tea, but I guarantee that there is a song out there that just gets you in a good mood or pumps you up.
Sometimes it is the tiny things that get us through our days, even and perhaps especially the hard ones. I can't express my gratitude enough for the little miracles that I experience everyday. Although this experience is at times freakishly hard, I wouldn't change it, not because I don't wish things were different, but because I would be different if I didn't have the experiences I do. We all have hard days, indeed days where we wonder if there isn't perhaps an easier way, its days like this I advise us to enjoy the magnificently insignificant.

 The pictures above were of when my parents and went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame near downtown Cleveland. One can easily assume that I was immensely enjoying myself!

Tales and Stories of "The Little Boys"

Written By: Ben

I don't know if I have ever seen two more good looking kiddos in my life. As I mentioned in the last post, I wanted to put this picture back up for a few different reasons. First and most obvious the two kids in this photo are stinking cute! Second, we are still pretty dang good looking if I do say so myself (see photos below). Third, I would be pretty hard pressed to find two closer human beings in existence. 

The above picture is of my cousin Alex and myself when we were probably seven or so. Alex and I have been thick as thieves for as long as either of us can remember. Ever since we were rambunctious enough to walk we have been up to all forms of adventures and shenanigans. Coined the "Little Boys" by our families, we are now the two tallest of said families (not so little anymore!!). Although at heart I think we are still those "Little Boys", whenever we are together we are always having adventures. Now I want to clarify, we MAKE whatever we are doing an adventure, whether that is/was playing with sticks in the backyard as if we were mighty warriors from another time, or on the very frequent late night excursions in search for "grubbies". These adventures or stories include a wide range of activities, items, troubles, and mischief. Some of these tales have ended in great victory while others have ended in sorrow, heartbreak or punishment. Now these tales and stories vary from the exotic to the mundane, from small boys to grown adults, from Mentos, HoHo wrappers, and Mac n' Cheese to knives, bows, guns, four-wheelers and in fact everything in between. 

Perhaps a story to illustrate what I mean. My grandparents live in basically the middle of nowhere in a gorgeous log style home. Their home was a place of many wonders and adventures for Alex and I. One of these locations at the Grandparents house and property is a small mountain/hill a small jaunt from the house on their property. Since we were old enough to be allowed (or not allowed) out of the presence of adults this hill was a place of adventure, wonder, and make believe. I do not remember the first time we ventured into that great unknown, perhaps because it was in fact so long ago. Anyways one day Alex and I were exploring the mountain and to our sheer amazement and joy we stumbled upon an old Indian scouts camp (or so we believed and which probably a small portion of our hearts still believe). This was a true discovery for two young adventurers, the old fire pit, flint chips/flakes, animal bones, and many other remnants of a life of exploring (little did we know, my Grandpa made the camp as a place for us to find) After much investigation and amusement we rushed back to the house wanting to tell everyone, but especially my Dad and Grandpa. On the way back we realize that if we tell everyone it will no longer be a secret place of wonder, so we decide to only tell Dad and Grandpa (seeing as we thought they would know more). To this day whenever Alex and I are at the Grandparents home we still walk up the hill to the old Indian camp and reminisce of times gone by, and the simple care free lives of two young "Little Boys".    

Although we can no longer get away with peeing off the back of the trampoline, we are still up to our adventures. I had the amazing blessing and privilege to spend a full week with my "cuz". We did a lot of things and made every single one an adventure to remember. From going to Niagara Falls, hiking in a place that feels like it is straight out of a fantasy novel, and participating in some of the MLB All-Star festivities, we always seem to have crazy fun stories to tell. Sadly if I were to include these stories, this blog post would be far too long, and crazy. As our week together came to a close and I drove him to the airport it was hard not to cry. (I cried after I dropped him off for sure though). We have been through a ton together and we talk about everything with one another. Although truthfully we have lived many miles apart for the vast majority of our lives, we are closer than brothers. He was among the first people I called when I received the dry run call a week ago, and we both expressed our bond and how it would never fade away, no matter what happened. I would live, die, hide a body, and do anything and everything in between for my cuz.

 Man, we are two good looking guys. Alex is just as much part of the family as I am, and you can bet he makes sure to be there when I can't.

We always jam to "The Boys are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy. In fact it is one of the songs that could easily act as one of our theme songs if we had to pick one. Although neither of us can really sing we still jam to a wide variety of songs during our many adventures and grubby (food/snacks) runs. 

 Although this picture is not of either of our makings, and the credit for it belongs to some other genius out there; I feel it shows just the tiniest fraction of the humor we "bust a gut" to. If I am being honest though, we laugh at just about anything, even at times the dumbest things. 

Okay, before I wrap up I will give a quick update. I am doing well, my health is pretty much unchanged, and I still try and get out and do things as much as possible. I had an amazing week spending time with some absolutely incredible people, and doing some pretty sweet things. Life is indeed back to "normal" after all the craziness of last week. Moms bingeing a show, I'm chilling, and the world keeps on turning. 

Although we can be giant goof balls, we are also two of the most tender hearted people out there. We laugh, cry, have serious discussions, and get in way over our heads on a frequent basis. I wish to share one last story that is a favorite of my Moms when she is talking about the two of us. One night in my early teen years Alex, Damon (Alex's brother), Bailee, and myself were downstairs watching a movie. As my mom tells the story: She and my Aunt Brenda (Alex's Mom) were upstairs, they could hear this strange noise coming from the basement... After a few moments they decided to check it out. As they sneak their way down the stairs (as to not disturb us) the noise seems to get louder. As they peek around the corner to get a view of us kids and what is going on (we were all on a pull our couch bed) they see what I can only imagine as a touching yet hilarious sight. There on that couch all those years ago are three young boys hysterically balling while watching a movie, and my sister sound asleep as if bored out of her mind. Now I am talking like snot running, can't breathe kind of crying, not the pretty stuff you do to try and keep it together. Of course our parents find this hilarious and to this day bring it up when we are in the presence of new company and old friends. I should also mention that the movie was "Where the Red Fern Grows" and guaranteed Alex and I would still cry today, just as we did back then. 

Even though years have passed since we have been given the name of "The Little Boys" I doubt the nickname will ever die. When we are old and gray, long past the days of boyhood, we will still go on grubby runs, still laugh till we cry at stupid things, and still dream and imagine worlds of wonder and amazement. Indeed no matter distance or age, life or death, happiness or sorrow, we have been, still are and always will be "The Little Boys".  

A Shovel, Sunsets, and One Year Down

Written By Ben:

Okay folks I know you have heard this a lot, but man oh man do I need to write in this blog more often. So seeing as today marks one year of me being here in Ohio I am going to set some "New Year" resolutions. Now hopefully this works better than the majority of New Years Resolutions that seemingly disappear after about three weeks of trying. Starting this week, I am going to try and write in this blog once a week... Oh man just typing that out makes me doubt myself. As I always say,  I am going to try and keep this post relatively short. I am going to apologize in advance, I have included pictures from the last several years to show how I have changed and how life has changed a bit. They are not in order and I will try to add a brief explanation to each photo.

Before I get to the photos I have two stories to share: The first story took place in the wee hours of this morning. I received a phone call last night around 10:20 pm and it was a woman notifying me that some organs had become available for me, but that we needed to get to the hospital as quick as possible because it was kind of last minute notice. So I made the choice to accept these organs and we set off for the hospital. En route, I made phone calls to those I deeply love, so pretty much my family and cousin. Now if I had the time, I would have called many people, but between time and the possibility of not receiving the organs, we decided to keep the number of people who would be in the loop quite small. It was extremely emotional as I talked to people that have been there for me through everything, and that in all honestly I may not have the opportunity to speak to again. Now the chances of that are very slim, but I didn't want to have regrets of not saying something I should, just in case something went wrong. Through many tears and an aching heart I finished the phone calls right as we arrived to the hospital. I received a Priesthood blessing from two very dear friends and we were off to the races. They already had a room ready for me and started straight into pre-op preps. It was crazy and I felt like I was hiking in not only foreign lands, but on a whole other planet. This feeling was odd because all the tests and checks they performed I have already had done in the past. Sometimes just the circumstances in which they are done make things seem completely different. After all the tests and checks I was wheeled down to wait outside the OR. We were waiting for the members of my team who went to procure the organs to report back that the organs were a good match for me. Well, extremely long story in a semi shorter version, the organs were not what they wanted and I am to wait for another call on another day. It is hard to explain my feelings of how this all has and continues to impact me, because of this I am going to share another story to illustrate just a tiny fraction of only a small portion of the feelings and emotions I experienced.

Years ago my Father and I, along with some friends were out "Ghost-towning". This is basically where you go to a ghost town and metal detect, screen, and search for various treasures. I am partial to looking for old bottles and other artifacts, while some people prefer to search for coins of different varieties. So to set the stage a little more I will include the names of all present: Besides myself and Pops there was a friend of my fathers named Tim and his son Hunter, who I was very close to. I do not remember my exact age, but it was probably around 14. After a long day of ghost-towning/treasure hunting, we were back in the trailer getting ready to enjoy some dinner.

Now this particular ghost town was in the middle of freaking nowhere, I'm talking middle of the desert where you are some of the only humans for miles and miles. It is pitch black outside and we are sheltered inside our trailer/camper trying to decide what is to be had for dinner. We came to an impasse as the two young boys wanted Ravioli and the adults wanted something else. The decision was made that us youngins would get our desire and have ravioli while the adults had whatever. We heated the ravioli (the cheap stuff, like Chef Boyardee out of a can), and we are told we will have to eat the whole thing... Well as you can guess we did not end up finishing it. Now while we are eating the adults proceed to tell stories of coyotes eating children, demon foxes, and a whole myriad of unpleasant and slightly terrifying stories. Dinner finished and it is time to dispose of the leftovers. My dad and Tim look at the remaining ravioli in the pan and say "well.... looks like you two are going to have to take that outside and bury it." In what felt like a blinding whirlwind of commotion and movement I am given a shovel and Hunter is given the pan of ravioli. Hunter and I are single file waiting to walk out the trailer door as my dad starts explaining that because of the bugs he is going to open the door so we can rush outside and then he will proceed to close it quickly as to not let in any bugs. So here we go, I am in the front with the shovel, Hunter behind me with the ravioli and unbeknownst to us, Tim is behind both of us waiting to shove us out the door in case we chicken out. (this because of the stupidly frightening tales of all manner of animals AND the constant howls and yips of a pack of coyotes somewhere in the distance).  So my Dad says "on the count of three..." now my dad can see the fear in our eyes as it is beyond pitch black outside and we had just finished being spoon fed tales of terror to the glee of Tim and my Dad. Before I finish the story I just want to say that when it comes to these scenarios my Dad and his buddies are the biggest teases known to man and I don't trust any of them farther than I can throw them. So Dad counts to three and flings the door open and Tim starts shoving us out the door. In my young mind I am thinking "I am about to be shoved into an eternal darkness filled with all sorts of beasts just waiting to gnaw on my too skinny appendages". So in what I would like to call quick thinking, right as I am about to enter the freaking abyss of night, I panic and turn the shovel cross ways. So instead of being semi vertical it is now horizontal in my hands making a verifiable five foot cross bar. Naturally, I slam into my makeshift brace connecting me to the glorious "safety" of the trailer, Hunter slams into me, and Tim into Hunter. In a spectacular display of smashed bodies and near hysteric attempts to stay in the trailer, the pan of ravioli ricochets off of my back and ravioli is sent in all directions, indeed getting it all over everything and everyone in the trailer, in particular the ceiling and walls. 

To wrap up any remaining questions you might have, Hunter and I did in fact end up burying the now twice cleaned ravioli in the ground outside. I don't think I have ever dug faster in my life.  

I share this story because in my mind it explains a piece of what I was feeling today in the early hours of my exact year mark. I was being wheeled down a hallway into what felt like an absolutely and terrifyingly dark abyss and oh what I would have given to have my trusty shovel. Now I do want to clarify that I did feel beyond comforted and at peace, but for the sake of this particular blog post I am just focusing on a very small and particular set of emotions, not necessarily the majority of my feelings. Often times we feel like we are being shoved or wheeled through a doorway that leads out into the cold and unforgiving night, and oh how we scramble and do whatever we can to stay in the warm comfort of our trailers. In a lot of instances though, if we just breathe and trust in our Heavenly Father and Savior (who are generally the ones doing the pushing) letting them guide/push us out the door into the night, we will see the wonders that the night sky holds for each of us. I marvel at the stars and beauty of the night, and although it is filled with things we are afraid of and don't understand, if we trust in God we can see the beauty and grace in all things under heaven.

Thanks for reading through my thoughts and stories, hopefully they help someone as they have helped me. 

I wish to apologize as I am writing this on very little sleep, and I hope and pray it makes sense.

So here's to a future of weekly writing and another year of crazy experiences and exploring the unknowns of "the night". 

I have realized that I do not have many pictures of myself, so I apologize that these are not exact time frames of a year or anything like that. I simply chose pictures that reflected my feelings of being out here a year and all of the crazy blessings and miracles I have experienced in my life.

 This photo was taken the first time I came to Cleveland with my Dad in preparation for moving out here and being put on the list. It still surprises me how skinny I was.

 This was just a few weeks back in the lovely city of Pittsburgh.  We went to see a Pirates game and experience a little bit of the city. Again, it is crazy to see how much I have changed in a year; it is interesting because as I look at these pictures I don't only notice the physical changes that my body has gone through, but I also contemplate the spiritual, mental, and emotional changes I have lived through.

 I absolutely love this picture. My favorite little man and I enjoying some tummy time. He is so young and has grown so much. It has been hard for me at times, because I have only seen him once in the last year and I have had to watch him grow up through the lens of a camera. The light he carries with him makes me smile and hope for a better world not only for me, but also for him.

 Now these are two of the handsomest (and now sexiest) "little boys" out there. This is Alex and I. Lady killers both then and now (not really). Alex spent the last week here in Cleveland with me, and I will be writing all about it here shortly. So I would expect this picture to pop up again.

 This picture was taken just a day or two after my last long hospital stay at University of Utah Medical Center. Oliver was born while I was in the hospital and this is the first chance I had to see and hold my little nephew. Man how things have changed in just the handful of months that have gone by.

 A picture from one of the last adventures Dad and I would take before we would leave for Cleveland. It is crazy to think I have not seen my mountains in a year now, it just about breaks my heart. The mountains are as much of a home to me as is the house I grew up in. Oh how I can't wait for the day when I can be in them again.

I wanted to end with this picture and my thoughts regarding a few things. I have traded my mountains for lush green forests and a vast and beautiful lake. Although it is not the same and I miss my mountains dearly, the lake offers similar escapes as the mountains. Although life has a way of changing who we are and what is around us, there is always joy to be had in every moment of life. The sunset although different wherever you go always shows a beauty that I can scarce take in. I know it is hard to see the benefits of a lot of things in our lives, but I know they are there, I have seen this to be true in my life. I have met incredible people here in Ohio, and although it has been a brutally hard and trying year for me and many others, oh how wondrous are the waves that wash along the shoreline. It is okay to struggle, it is okay to wish things could be different, and it is okay to plead for an easier way. But remember that it isn't how hard you hit the ground after getting beat down by life, but how swiftly you stand up and charge back into the fray.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me through this last year and the many other times in my life, whether it was for only a day or a lifetime, I will never forget the love, compassion, mercy, happiness, and peace you have given to me and many others. Here is to one year down and many more to come. Love you all! 

Small Simple Things

Written by: Lincoln

I wonder how many of you can identify the object in this picture?  Thankfully not many know what the above picture is about.  Only those who have been really sick, usually post-surgery have ever seen these before.  This small item is a sponge sucker.  It is made by gluing a small durable sponge on the end of a sucker stick.  When patients are not allowed to eat or drink they are given this sponge sucker in a small cup of ice with very little water in it.  They are allowed to wet the sponge sucker and then wipe the sponge on their lips and inside their cheeks and tongue in order to try and moisten the salivary glands that get so dry when someone is not allowed to eat/drink, and for my boy this sometimes went on for several weeks at a time. 

When my boy was going through his adolescent years we had long stays in the hospital.  Many of them were post-operative and he would spend many weeks trying to recover from the latest trial of his intestines not functioning properly.  I think the longest stint was for 28 days in a row at Primary Children’s Medical Center.  This sponge sucker was/is such a lifesaver.  It would calm my son’s unquenchable thirst as he waited for his intestines to awaken after being operated on.  I remember so vividly how he begged to have this soon after surgery.  The first few days he was not allowed to have anything by mouth.  As the days wore on the doctors finally relented and the small cup of ice with a new sponge sucker was brought into the room.  It was always such a marvelous event!    I would watch my small son savor every bit of water from that sucker as he rubbed it over his cracked lips and dry tongue.  It brought so much joy into my life just watching him enjoy that ice cold sponge sucker.  I was always so thankful for the comfort that this little device could bring to my son.

As I sat in a chair next to him, in his hospital room one night, as he slept (I don’t remember exactly which time…they have all ran together) I remember looking at that cup and being amazed at how such a small and simple item brought so much comfort into my little boy’s life.  I stood up and took this picture wanting to try and capture those feeling I felt that night.  Feelings of gratitude for the many small blessings in my life, far too numerable to quantify.

I have kept this picture for years.  To many it means nothing; yet every time I see it I remember the feeling in my heart that night.  The commitment I made to try and be grateful all the time, to carry gratitude in my heart continually.  But being the weak man I am I have failed numerous times.  Yet as with many things my gratitude goal is a journey, not a destination.

 

I am here in Cleveland spending a few precious days with my son.  I look forward to these days.  Let me share with you one of the most exciting, yet simple events we have been able to do while my son and I are together in Cleveland.  We have been preparing for weeks for this to happen.  My wife brought out the needed equipment with her last time she flew from SLC to Cleveland. 

BASEBALL!!!

Yes….that's it!  Throwing a baseball back and forth together. (can you spot the ball?)  While seemingly such a simple thing to so many people it has been a great event for me this trip.  We were both so excited for it and we went out our first morning together.  We drove down to a beautiful park that sits on the banks of the Cuyahoga River.  The weather was excellent and the smell of our old leather mitts brought back such a flood of wonderful memories, for both of us, from his childhood, before he became too sick to play competitively. 

Since the time Ben was old enough to throw a ball we spent many wonderful hours at the baseball field.  We were blessed to have such great coaches, meet lifelong friends, and learn many important lessons about life.  I miss those days watching my son play at the beautiful old baseball fields that were once in the Riverton Park. 

I am grateful that I have this chance to play ball with my son.  I am grateful that he has days where he feels well enough to go and play catch with his old man.  I am even more grateful that he still wants to.  We have been out every day since we have been here together.  My arm is finally getting warmed up.  Yesterday we even went out in the rain and played catch together, it was our only chance since it was a steady downpour all day long.  I have enjoyed every moment!

I know that this is not much of a story for most people.  We have done many other new and exciting things while we have been living here in Cleveland.  It is such a wonderful area filled with so much beauty, history and warm hearted people. 

I just wanted to share with you a few of my thoughts and express my gratitude for some of the simple things that get taken for granted.  I also want to throw out a challenge to you.  Take the time to enjoy the seemingly small yet special events, things, and people in your life.  Take nothing for granted.  Notice them, they are all around.  Waste no time.

When I see you next please share.  I would love hear about them.

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A few other fun things during my time in Cleveland

A day trip to Pittsburgh PA.  What a wonderful day.  I love traveling with my family and it has been a long time since we have had the chance to travel for fun.  I just wish the rest of my family (Bailee, Kyle, Ollie, Brooklyn) could have been there.  This picture was taken of some very expensive bikes, to the price of $48,000!.  They are located in an amazing bicycle shop museum called Bicycle Heaven, a must stop if your in Pittsburgh.  This is the only place known in the world to see four Bowden Spacelander bicycles in the same location.  The Bowden Spacelander bicycle is supposed to be a bike collectors dream bike.

A trip up the Incline in Pittsburgh.  What a ride and what an amazing view from Washington Heights of the city of Pittsburgh.  A beautiful city surrounded by rivers and bridges.

No better way to end  our day than a baseball game.  We watched the Pirates come from behind and beat the Detroit Tigers (their largest come back since 2008).  Great game.  We were lucky to get some great seats for a steal of a deal.  It was so fun to see my boy having so much fun.

Long walks with my beautiful bride in the amazing parks that go through the deep woods and along the rivers in the area.

A tour of the Freighter Museum in the Cleveland Harbor.  The museum is an old freighter that you can walk through and tour.  Very amazing.

A day long driving tour of 19 covered bridges in Ashtabula County.  They have claim to the shortest (pictured above - 18' span) and the longest covered bridge in America.

A beautiful day with Benjamin and my wife seeing some amazing county.

Another bridge

...and another.  We saw 18 bridges that day.

My favorite place - Headlands Beach

Hunting beach glass on Headlands Beach

The missionaries taking care of us....and my wife taking care of them.

Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mother.

Written by: Ben

I will give a quick update before I get to the real meat of what I wanted to post about. My health has been a tad finicky the last little while, I had to start a regiment of anti-biotics for bacteria overgrowth. (This is basically when the "normal" gut flora or organisms in your gut grow at a rate at which my bowels are not able to handle. It causes distention, pain, nausea, and a decline in appetite to name just a few symptoms). All of this combined with a few other things make it more difficult to do what I enjoy. There has been some warm days, which have luckily coincided with my "good" days of health. So even though the "good" days are fewer than usual I have still been able to get out and use them to the best of my abilities. Otherwise life is going pretty stinkin good, just kicking it and doing my best to remain patient while waiting for transplant.

I had the opportunity this week to help a young lady whom I have never met or been acquainted with. My Nursing Coordinator called and asked if I would be willing to help a young lady she had just met and who was going through the first few appointments required by the team at the Clinic for transplant evaluation. Permission was given for us to speak over the phone, so I gave the young lady a call. (We will call her R since I don't know her all that well).

 R is a young college student in the Chicago area who has some digestive issues that have similarities to mine. I gave her a call a few days back and was greeted by a very bubbly and chipper sounding young lady who was a tad confused why a Utah number had called her phone. I explained who I was and asked if I could help in any way. She then asked a series of questions that brought back a mixture of minor depression, shock, anxiety and laughter. I could hear the fear in R's voice, and how she was searching for any kind of comfort from a stranger whom she had never met or even seen a picture of. My heart went out to this poor girl. We discussed some hard topics like survival rates, the difficulties of moving ones life, dealing with tests and docs, and a myriad of other questions and topics. R seemed to handle all of my responses well, although I could tell she was trying her best to sound strong. I was reminded of all the hard days, all the heart wrenching realities and possibilities that come with this process and others like it. I wanted to be next to R, to pull someone I have never met close and to tell her that it will all be alright, that the hard days end, the world still turns, and that despite all the difficulties, sadness, hopelessness, and heartbreaks, it will all be okay. I was in R's shoes just a few months back and even though I had amazing support all around (which I will get to in a sec) it would have been spectacular to talk to someone who was in the thick of it so to speak. So I was honored to be able to provide someone with at least a tiny bit of comfort that I was not able to have myself. 

Now onto what I actually wanted to write this post about: My sweet Mother! A fun story to start it all off. A few years/lifetimes ago I was fresh off my mission and going to school for the first semester since being back. I was walking out of the building and needed to call my Mom for something, now in my defense my mom is one of the best people on the planet and in a very child like and teasing way I affectionately had her as Mommy in my phone. So being all hip and new to the advancements of technology I whip out my trusty new I-Phone 6 (which is still my current phone) and use Siri to call my mom. So I hold the home button down and say "call Mommy", now the phone has a slight delay as it understands and interprets my voice into a command and gets ready to fulfill my desire. While my phone is doing that, I walk by a bunch of parked cars. Whilst next to one, what I can only describe as an embodiment of all that is gorgeous and wonderful in the world steps out and turns to look at me. Her loosely curled locks of gold brown hair bouncing slightly as she hops out of the car and flashes a brilliantly beautiful smile in my direction. I of course respond with trying not to run into the nearest stationary object, and all the while attempting to make walking look like an Olympic sport. So I muster up a cute and albeit doofy smile to try and impress this goddess of a woman that has been sent to make my day even more spectacular, or so I thought. Right at that exact moment Siri chimes in notifying me that she was going to complete the task I had asked of her and decides to repeat it back to me. With an astonishing volume that has never again presented itself my phone basically screams "Calling Mommy!" In an instant all of my hopes were dashed against the rocks of my childish ways as the gorgeous female bursts into laughter at my phones declaration. To top it off I realize I am now next to my car which sadly was more of a chick car than an impressive set of wheels. As I get into my car I lose the last bit of dignity I had and forcefully place my forehead against the steering wheel of my car; turning my head slightly to watch the beautiful female walk into the building.

Okay enough of the embarrassing stories. My Mom is perhaps one of the greatest human beings to ever grace this world with her presence. I could go on for hours and never even get past the basics of why my mom is so amazing. I will attempt to name a few: She is the biggest mama bear of all time, she loves all those she comes in contact with (unless it is when she is behind the wheel), she moved from all she has known and loved to be with her sick and terrified child, she has helped build not one but two homes centered on the Savior, she makes me laugh and smile on a daily basis, she drives me up the wall at times, she never gives up on me or any member of her family, she cries during almost any kids movie (in fact she has the biggest and softest heart of just about anyone I know), and she has been one of the greatest examples of pointing others towards their Heavenly Home and Savior that I have ever seen.

I am beyond blessed to have a the best mother in the world (according to my completely unbiased opinion)

She has taught be to love openly, cry gracefully, laugh uncontrollably, smile unceasingly, and give wholeheartedly.

Today my mom turns 50! I can't believe it, and I hope she is having a party at home with the girls. (My parents swapped places a few days back so my mom could be home for a little while). So naturally here are a few pictures of the last few years and some of the adventures I have had with my mom. (I wanted to post old photos, but sadly I do not have access to any of them).
       

My Mom and I try to get out every once in a while and enjoy the beautiful things that are around us.

Mom loves all the missionaries out here. She continues to be a blessing in as many of their lives as she can. She especially loves all of the sight sisters and that makes them some of the luckiest missionaries on the planet. 

Mom is going to kill me for some of these pictures. We got to experience out first major league baseball game together. 

Ever since I was little we would go to Nicklecade or any other form of arcade/fair. At which my Mom would love to play Ski-ball. I am pretty sure I can beat her now, even though she will battle me on that point of discussion.  

Plus my Mom is freaking gorgeous!

My Mother has always made the gospel a priority not only in the home, but in the lives of all of us children. 

I think this Calvin and Hobbes comic describes one of the many ways my mom and I interact.

She has been there for all the ups and downs, which in my family has been some serious altitude changes in both directions. (fun fact: Mom hates heights, I would post some fun videos if I knew how).

This picture captures my parents relationship in a nutshell. I could not be more blessed.

I am sure there are days that I drive my mom crazy with all of my shenanigans. Yet she handles everything thrown at her with such poise and grace that it takes my breath away. Even though she is terrified of heights, hates spiders and really most creepy crawlies, screams and gets scared way too easy, has road rage, nags me to clean way too often, favors the grandchild over her own son, forgets that she has three children, loves the Bachelor, drinks way too much Coke Zero, binge watches better than anyone I know, and is an emotional mess at times, she is the best Mother any child could ever wish for. Love you Mommy!!

P.S. I apologize if my grammar is not super great, my principle editor (my Mom) is not available to proof-read this post.