An Influence For Good

Written By: Ben

I swear that every single time I get around to writing in this Blog I always end up saying something like "Sorry it has been forever, but I am going to start writing more frequently...". Clearly I have not held up my end of the bargain, so sadly you will just have to wait and see if I actually get better at writing in the blog. 

It doesn't necessarily make sense, but a lot and yet very little has happened since I last wrote. One of the big things that happened was the fact that I turned 25! My sweet Mother wrote about it so I won't include much. February 9th was the big day, and it is weird to think that pretty much a month has passed since then. I had a low key birthday, Mom and I went out to eat and went to the movies where we watched "The Upside" which I loved and related to in different ways. I was also able to go out with two very good friends of mine from here in Cleveland. These two love the Cheesecake Factory, so we went there, since I generally do not eat much, and of course the cheesecake was indeed delicious. Overall it was a very good birthday, even if I did turn a quarter of a century.

I have had the amazing opportunity to get to know many amazing people out here in Cleveland. It would take me far too long to talk about all of them, but I will say that they are each individually amazing people that have done so many things to make this whole experience a continual joy. I try and get out as often as my health permits me, which sometimes means only once a week and on other occasions it means multiple times a day. I have noticed that I do not talk about my health in much detail on the blog, I am not sure why that is, but whatever. Since the weather has been rather chilly, I have not gotten outside near as much as I would like, and I can easily say that it has affected me in ways that I don't really enjoy. So I am going to have to find a way to bundle up nice and tight so I can brave the frigid cold with a little more excitement. I am a firm believer in the phrase "The body and the spirit are the soul of a man" and when I don't get my outdoor fix my spirit takes a dip and respectively so does my physical health. Generally this shows in the subtleties of my mood and life, but it still has a seeping effect into the many facets of my life.

Overall I would gladly proclaim that I live a very blessed and fortunate life. 

I guess I should probably talk a little bit more about my health... Overall things are holding steady, but I guess a moment of brutal honesty is in order, some days it really takes a toll on me. I guess this is a reason I have been reluctant to write in the blog. I have felt very inadequate and weak, even though we all have days and moments like this, I have a hard time being open about it, especially when it is for anyone and everyone to read. I am sure many if not all of you can relate in one way or another, but nobody likes to show weakness especially when it comes to those we love or that we feel look up to us in some way (not to mention the ladies).  I think it is a universal feeling of wanting to put forth our strengths and best selves for all to see, and there is nothing wrong with that, but with this blog I guess I am trying to be very open and honest. Some days when all I can do is lay there and watch TV trying to control my pain or distention I feel pretty useless. Luckily I learned and continue to learn that if we can just do our best to play with whatever cards we are dealt, you usually come out a winner in many more ways than one. So yea life has a way of kicking us all while we are down, but it also has a way of making the simplest things impact us in far deeper ways than we could ever imagine. I cannot count the times a sunset or a star filled sky has touched the very depths of my heart, perhaps letting me know that even in the most trying of circumstances, life is still filled with many marvelous and spectacular miracles.    

This leads me to the pictures below:

 My Mother and I have been extremely fortunate to have had the blessing that is each and every one of these incredible Sister Missionaries. I couldn't swarm this blog post with pictures of all of the sisters we have gotten to know, but here are a few of them. 

It is funny, because on my mission I sometimes thought the sisters were spoiled and a tad full of themselves. (I of course was completely and utterly wrong). Each sister has been such an amazing blessing in our lives, and if I ever find out that some dirt bag hurts one of these beautiful daughters of God my cousin and I will throw them off the tallest cliff we can find. (I swear I am a very gentle human being). 

This last picture comes with a story. These two Sisters (Sister Hickenlooper on the left and Sister Lund on the right) were the first ones to give me and my Mother a tour at the Kirtland Historic Sights. During the tour my Mom chatted with Sister Hickenlooper and I had the amazing opportunity to talk a lot with Sister Lund in particular, and for me it was very special. I had been in Ohio less than a month when we took the tour. As I chatted with Sister Lund, and listened to her testify of the Savior it filled me with peace and calm during a very stressful and desperately hard time in my life. I was also able to share a story that is very close to my heart that I have only shared a handful of times in my life. I sadly never had the opportunity to tell Sister Lund how much she helped me, although I most certainly will remember the experience. She helped me to feel somehow accepted in a land that was foreign to me; she smiled at me like I wasn't there as a very broken and scared young man, but as an earnest seeker of the joys of life. I am sure she and the other Sisters have touched countless lives, but I will always be indebted to her for how she helped me in a very pivotal part of my life. Indeed she may never know just how much she did for me.  

I am confident that each Sister we have met has impacted and influenced many people in more ways than they could possibly realize. For they have all been a light in the life of my Mother and I. 

The Sisters are an astounding testimony to the simple truth that we often do not know the incredible amount of good we each can do in this crazy world. 

The Best of Ben

Written by Nikki

This week on February 9th Benjamin will celebrate his 25th birthday!

So I want to celebrate him!

He has always been a gentle and kind young boy and

he's grown into a gentle and kind man!

I don't know many people that could handle the up and down health trials that he has and do it with as much optimism, joy and dignity. 

He really is an example to me of finding joy in the journey.

Fun facts about Ben:

*  Loves the outdoors

*  Loves to tease

*  Rides a street motorcycle

*  Speaks Spanish

*  Surprisingly good at Just Dance

*  He's a scaredy cat 

*  Loves Grape Juice

*  He's Tenderhearted

*  Likes Funyuns

*  Loves Baseball

*  He's a good shot

*  He was in a production of the Nutcracker (as a favor to his sisters) That's brotherly love!

*  Uncle Ben

*  Loves the Canadian Rockies

*  Loves fishing

*  Served a mission to Indianapolis, Indiana

*  History Buff

*  Spouts off random facts... That are actually true.

*  Is a CNA with goal of being an NP

*  Sometimes answers to Stud Muffin

*  Loves Loves Loves Hiking
*  Likes to watch Food Network, especially when he can't eat food.
*  Likes to give dating advice to his younger sister. ;)

Prepare yourself for Photo overload! :)

We LOVE you Benjamin!

We're grateful your our son, brother and uncle. 

Happy Birthday!!

Ohio/Transplant Update:  We have passed the 6 month mark.  When that day came and went,  I will not lie I was discouraged.  I have had a hard time getting my groove back.  I always want to be 100% honest about how I feel.  It's really hard being separated from my home and the rest of my family, especially my husband, but as a mom this is where I belong and there is nowhere else I would be.  I felt my first -22 degrees, and dang that is cold!!  Benjamin experienced a polar vortex on the mission so it wasn't his first experience with this kind of cold! 

Benjamin's health continues to stay steady.  He still has good days and bad days as far as his energy and how his stomach feels, but you will rarely hear him complain about anything.  He stays as busy as he can.  Some of the things he really enjoys are teaching with the full time missionaries, being involved in the YSA ward, going out with friends and visiting the Senior missionaries at the Kirtland Historic Site.  

We continue to prayerfully wait for the phone call that will change everything.  Even when we feel discouraged we have faith in Heavenly Fathers plan for us.  We are here in Ohio, in this place at this time for a reason, and we will continue to be prayerful that we might serve the lord and the people we come in contact with in any way we can. We are so grateful for all of those who continually serve and support our family both in Utah and here in Ohio.  So many have given of themselves for us and we feel so much love and gratitude daily. 

Mosiah 24:14-15 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord. 

Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. 

The Farthest Christmas From Home

Written By: Ben

Well, it has been a really long time since I have posted on this blog... I feel really bad, but I have been having a hard time knowing what to write or even what to write about. I was given the advice to be really open on this blog, which at times is very easy, and other times, very difficult. So we are going to give it a run. 

I will talk about the past few months in small pieces in the next few posts most likely instead of making one freakishly long post. 

A while back when my Dad was here the last time, (back in October) he and I found a place here in Ohio called Headlands State Park. Ever since my Dad and I found this place I have loved going there and just enjoying the massive lake and all the sights and sounds that come with it. I have discovered that it is a place that I can go and just let my mind wander, to really just think, which although at times may be dangerous, helps me to clear my head and keep cool so to speak. You have already seen some picture of this place, but I will include some in this post and I am sure in future posts as well.

I am hoping that this will be a short post, but we will just see as I go. Firstly this is the farthest from home I have ever been during Christmas; now I know it isn't that far, but to me, at times it feels like forever away. I had the opportunity to video chat with my family in the morning while we all opened presents, it was truly an amazing blessing. I watched The Little Man (Oliver my nephew) storm into the living room and make a B-line for a big rocking moose that his parents had Santa bring him after he found it in a store. I laughed as he went up and pet it like a real creature and then with the help of parents proceeded to hop on it and just enjoy it to its fullest. I absolutely love that little tyke with all of his crazy antics and adventures. It has been rewarding and painful to watch him grow up through a video camera. After the Little Man enjoyed his moose we started opening gifts and enjoying the morning together. I am truly spoiled every moment by my sweet family and all of those who care about me. I have watched people who have little, give a lot, and those who need support, give support to me and my family. I doubt I will ever be able to express the gratitude and love I feel for these people, whether they be coworkers of my Father, friends of the family, relatives, or folks I hardly know. I know it isn't much, but I wanted to tell you thank you from the bottom of my heart, I know you ask for nothing in return, but if I could I would give it all back a hundred fold. For now though a sincere and tear filled thank you is all I can offer. These past few months have been some of the hardest and most blessed of my entire life, and that is due to all of you amazing people.

Christmas is almost over, and for once in quite a while I am not in the hospital over the holidays!! (hopefully I didn't just shoot myself in the foot by saying that). 

As one of the last things I would like to say in this post I am going to speak of one of my dearest friends, and yet I have never met him in person. We think of the Prince of Peace often during this time of year for a wide variety of reasons. The Savior of the World, even Jesus Christ has been a dear friend to me for as long as I can remember, even if I didn't recognize it at the time. I know He lives and that He loves each of us more than we could ever imagine. I have been fortunate in my life to be able to grow a very close and personal relationship with the Savior, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It is truly an amazing benefit of my challenges, because without them I doubt I would know my Savior like I do. I hope that you can develop a deeper relationship with your Savior, I am constantly trying to better my relationship with Him and my Heavenly Father. I testify of the Saviors humble birth those many years ago, His ministry on Earth, His Atonement, and His ongoing love for each of us. I am so imperfect and lost sometimes, but He has always been there for me just as He is for you. 

   

Here is a picture of myself at Headlands State Park. This is out on the sea wall barrier thing where a huge tree had been thrown up onto the rocks.

I have had the amazing opportunity over the last ten days or so to have my cousin Calin here with me. He is such an amazing example to me, and even though he is three years younger than me I look up to him in a lot of ways (except height). We have always been adventure buddies and the greatest of friends. We have gotten into trouble together more times than I can count, laughed harder than I thought possible, cried more than two grown men should, and been together for 21 plus years. We had the opportunity to see many sights here in Ohio, and to talk late into the night about memories, girls, trials, and indeed life in general. He has helped make these days all worth it. One of the notable accomplishments and adventures we had these last few days was watching all three of the extended additions of The Lord of The Rings, which is around 13 hours of movie! What can I say, they are some of the best movies of all time, and I will admit it, even if it brands me as a massive nerd.

 I have two cousins I am extremely close to, one is Calin (right) and the other is a hoodlum on my moms side of the family named Alex (left). I would be lost without the two of them, and I would have lived a lot less without them. They are some of my greatest role models and examples. I could never express the bond with or gratitude I have with both of these amazing hooligans.

Home and Back Again

Written by Nikki

Fall has arrived here in Ohio.  It's beauty is amazing!  I hope I can get some pictures that will do it justice.  But needless to say, wherever I go I am surrounded by trees of varying colors. 

October has been a busy month, here's is a recap:

Lincoln arrived in Ohio on October 5th.  We spent a few days together with Benjamin.  We took the tour of the Kirtland Temple because Lincoln had not seen it yet.  We also took a small walk in the woods to show Linc the Temple quarry.  It was a balmy 82 degrees with 84% humidity. We then spent the weekend together watching General Conference for 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  We enjoyed every moment of it.

 I have never been a good flyer.  As a matter of fact I have always hated flying and have felt anxious and tense for the entire flight anytime I have flown anywhere. Seriously bad flyer... ask my kids. :-) Last spring Linc and I went on a cruise and we flew to Florida.  For the first time ever I didn't have any anxiety or fear of flying, like none.  It was crazy.  It was like I had been flying with no problems my whole life. 

I decided Heavenly Father was preparing me to be able to fly alone, showing me I could do it, knowing it would be necessary for me in order to live here in Ohio and be able to go back and forth to Utah.  On October 8th I flew by MYSELF for the first time ever!  I rocked it.  No fear, no anxiety nothing.  I felt like I had been traveling alone for years. The clouds were so blue and puffy.  It was a beautiful day to fly.  I may have shed a tear or two when we came over the mountains into Provo and I could see the temple all lit up. I was home.

 

Bailee, Kyle and Oliver picked  me up from the airport.  When we got home there was a fun sign welcoming me.  

It was a great to be home!  I immediately got a haircut from my normal salon and had my sister color my ever graying hair.  Spent a day mowing, edging and trimming my lawn, because I missed working in my yard.  I had a little helper the whole time and I loved it!  I've been missing my garden tomatoes this year.  My family had diligently been covering them, protecting them from frost so I could enjoy home grown tomatoes while home. 

First thing I cooked, hamburgers on the barbecue with fresh tomatoes! Delicious!

As soon as Brooklyn had an afternoon free from class and work I went to Provo and spent some time with her. She showed me around her cute apartment and introduced me to all of her friends.  I went grocery shopping with her and we went to a great Crepe place called "Roll up Crepes". It was so good.  I ordered a savory crepe and Brooklyn ordered a fruity sweet crepe, then we split them! Let me tell you, they know how to make their crepes look pretty!  I loved it! It was a fun day together. 

Bailee, Olllie and I spent an afternoon shopping for new Jeans.  I needed some warmer clothes. We also went to get a drink and cookie at Sodalicious, a place I've missed for sure. 

 Bailee, Kyle, Oliver and I went to Liberty, Utah and spent some time with some of Kyle's family at their annual spooky woods.  

After attending Church in my ward, which I have missed, we went to Provo to cook dinner with Brooklyn.  We got to meet some more of her friends and really enjoyed our evening there. 

I was also able to catch up with a lot of my friends while I was at home.  I wish I had gotten pictures with everyone,  but I kept forgetting.  Here I am with my some of my BFF's.  I am so grateful for and love all of my friends, they are all so supportive and awesome! 

A lot of my time was spent playing with this sweet baby boy who I miss every day!  He brings me pure joy!  I miss my kids too, but they understand where I am and why.  This little guy is too young to understand where grandma has gone.  We facetime every day, but it's not the same as playing with him and kissing on him.  I took full advantage of our time together! 

I planned my time home around Fall Break.  So my last few days in Utah Brooklyn was off of school and came home to spend time with all of us.  The girls and I made about 16 pints of Strawberry Freezer Jam. (I wish I could have taken a jar back to Ohio with me)

We all enjoyed some delicious cookies from Crumbl that Brooklyn brought us from Provo while we watched "Mama Mia 2".  We also went to a movie together and saw "Little Women". 

I had a really good visit with my parents, they came into town and took me to lunch.  (I forgot to get a picture) My sister that lives in Texas was also visiting Utah, so I was able to get together with my sisters and go to dinner, which is always fun. (again, no picture)  I sure miss all of my family.  My extended family has been so supportive and we are very blessed to have them in our lives.  Bailee, Kyle, Ollie and I went to visit my sister in Grantsville and took Ollie to see the horse.  Oliver loved everything about our visit to my sisters, the Horse, the dogs and the barn cats.  I'm convinced he could be a country boy. 

 The kids and I also went to a really fun place with Kyle's family called "Black Island Farms". 

It's Davis county's version of Cornbellys. 

It's a fun place with lots of fall activities, including a hay ride to a pumpkin patch where we each got to pick out our own pumpkin.  It was a beautiful fall day, the sun was shining and we really enjoyed watching Ollie play with his cousins and try some of the activities. 

I was in Utah for 12 days. It was a much needed trip home.  It felt nice to be in my home and around all things familiar.  Of course the time to leave came too quickly.  Lincoln and I didn't get to see each other at the end of the trip,we passed in the air somewhere. Here is the picture of me and the kids just before they took me to the airport.  Lincoln and Ben had their own fun adventures here in Ohio.  Hopefullly soon, one of them will share. ;-)
My flight back to Ohio.  My final look at the Salt Lake Valley for a while,

 and Cleveland city lights at night. 

The rest of October Ben and I got back into the swing of our routine.  We got go to church together, which was nice.  I usually go alone, because Ben goes to the singles branch in Cleveland.  It was Stake Conference so we went together.  We got back on the schedule of feeding our missionaries, which we love. 

 We found a local Bowling alley and gave that a try.  I used to bowl on league once a week with my friends and I have missed it.  My skills have diminished to say the least, but Ben and I had a fun time.  We wanted to try out the place so we can take the Elders there for their p-day. 

We also went on a fun outing to Fairport Harbor for a night of Haunting Tales. It was hosted by the Fairpoint Historic Society. 

It was a really different experience for us, they offered wine (water or juice for Ben and I), cheese, crackers and grapes to eat while they told about all the haunted places in the area.  Both Ben and I really enjoyed it. We also got to climb the 67 steps to the top of the old lighthouse, which is supposed to be one of the haunted places. It was a full moon on a windy and stormy night, just the type of weather for a haunted evening. 

Ben took me to a place he and his dad visited while I was in Utah called Headlands State Park.  It is the first sandy beach I have been to on Lake Erie.  You follow a board walk through some dunes before you reach the lake.  Ben said it feels just like the beach from the lightning storm in the movie "Sweet Home Alabama".  It really does have an ocean feel, the waves roll in and the lake is so vast, you feel like your at the ocean.  It was a blustery day, which makes it feel more dramatic.  We walked along the beach looking for colored beach glass.  It is not easy to find especially on a gloomy day.  But I got lucky and found a few pieces.  It is basically formed from any glass that has been cast into the water and gets broken, beat back and forth by the current, the waves and the rocks.  It gets brought to shore with the pebbles and is smooth like a pebble. 

The current functioning lighthouse is also located at Headlands. 

 Ben and I staying up until 3:30 a.m. to watch the World Series.

Our transplant journey continues on. This is by far one of the hardest things our family has had to do.  

Being apart is hard.  But hard things make us stronger.

Benjamin's health continues to maintain steady.  He has actually gained about 20 pounds since we arrived in Ohio which is good.  He continues to get most of his nutrition by TPN through his Hickman line. We all feel ready for the transplant.  We feel we are all prepared mentally, spiritually and physically Ben's body seems stronger than it has been in months. We have made friends and we feel we have a great group of people here in Ohio to offer support as well.
 Everything seems in place. We continue to patiently wait for the Lord's timing.

I was not an Organ donor before, I had just not really thought much about it. This past spring I had to renew my drivers license, and I checked the box to be an organ donor.  It has been eye opening to me, to be in the position we are in now, and to think that a family somewhere will lose a loved one, and we will get a chance to keep ours. I am starting to understand the gift organ donation is.

It can be the gift of life!

There are many ways to get educated and read stories of hope, here are few if your interested in reading.  I really like the donatelifeohio page.

donatelife.net

donatelifeohio.org