Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mother.

Written by: Ben

I will give a quick update before I get to the real meat of what I wanted to post about. My health has been a tad finicky the last little while, I had to start a regiment of anti-biotics for bacteria overgrowth. (This is basically when the "normal" gut flora or organisms in your gut grow at a rate at which my bowels are not able to handle. It causes distention, pain, nausea, and a decline in appetite to name just a few symptoms). All of this combined with a few other things make it more difficult to do what I enjoy. There has been some warm days, which have luckily coincided with my "good" days of health. So even though the "good" days are fewer than usual I have still been able to get out and use them to the best of my abilities. Otherwise life is going pretty stinkin good, just kicking it and doing my best to remain patient while waiting for transplant.

I had the opportunity this week to help a young lady whom I have never met or been acquainted with. My Nursing Coordinator called and asked if I would be willing to help a young lady she had just met and who was going through the first few appointments required by the team at the Clinic for transplant evaluation. Permission was given for us to speak over the phone, so I gave the young lady a call. (We will call her R since I don't know her all that well).

 R is a young college student in the Chicago area who has some digestive issues that have similarities to mine. I gave her a call a few days back and was greeted by a very bubbly and chipper sounding young lady who was a tad confused why a Utah number had called her phone. I explained who I was and asked if I could help in any way. She then asked a series of questions that brought back a mixture of minor depression, shock, anxiety and laughter. I could hear the fear in R's voice, and how she was searching for any kind of comfort from a stranger whom she had never met or even seen a picture of. My heart went out to this poor girl. We discussed some hard topics like survival rates, the difficulties of moving ones life, dealing with tests and docs, and a myriad of other questions and topics. R seemed to handle all of my responses well, although I could tell she was trying her best to sound strong. I was reminded of all the hard days, all the heart wrenching realities and possibilities that come with this process and others like it. I wanted to be next to R, to pull someone I have never met close and to tell her that it will all be alright, that the hard days end, the world still turns, and that despite all the difficulties, sadness, hopelessness, and heartbreaks, it will all be okay. I was in R's shoes just a few months back and even though I had amazing support all around (which I will get to in a sec) it would have been spectacular to talk to someone who was in the thick of it so to speak. So I was honored to be able to provide someone with at least a tiny bit of comfort that I was not able to have myself. 

Now onto what I actually wanted to write this post about: My sweet Mother! A fun story to start it all off. A few years/lifetimes ago I was fresh off my mission and going to school for the first semester since being back. I was walking out of the building and needed to call my Mom for something, now in my defense my mom is one of the best people on the planet and in a very child like and teasing way I affectionately had her as Mommy in my phone. So being all hip and new to the advancements of technology I whip out my trusty new I-Phone 6 (which is still my current phone) and use Siri to call my mom. So I hold the home button down and say "call Mommy", now the phone has a slight delay as it understands and interprets my voice into a command and gets ready to fulfill my desire. While my phone is doing that, I walk by a bunch of parked cars. Whilst next to one, what I can only describe as an embodiment of all that is gorgeous and wonderful in the world steps out and turns to look at me. Her loosely curled locks of gold brown hair bouncing slightly as she hops out of the car and flashes a brilliantly beautiful smile in my direction. I of course respond with trying not to run into the nearest stationary object, and all the while attempting to make walking look like an Olympic sport. So I muster up a cute and albeit doofy smile to try and impress this goddess of a woman that has been sent to make my day even more spectacular, or so I thought. Right at that exact moment Siri chimes in notifying me that she was going to complete the task I had asked of her and decides to repeat it back to me. With an astonishing volume that has never again presented itself my phone basically screams "Calling Mommy!" In an instant all of my hopes were dashed against the rocks of my childish ways as the gorgeous female bursts into laughter at my phones declaration. To top it off I realize I am now next to my car which sadly was more of a chick car than an impressive set of wheels. As I get into my car I lose the last bit of dignity I had and forcefully place my forehead against the steering wheel of my car; turning my head slightly to watch the beautiful female walk into the building.

Okay enough of the embarrassing stories. My Mom is perhaps one of the greatest human beings to ever grace this world with her presence. I could go on for hours and never even get past the basics of why my mom is so amazing. I will attempt to name a few: She is the biggest mama bear of all time, she loves all those she comes in contact with (unless it is when she is behind the wheel), she moved from all she has known and loved to be with her sick and terrified child, she has helped build not one but two homes centered on the Savior, she makes me laugh and smile on a daily basis, she drives me up the wall at times, she never gives up on me or any member of her family, she cries during almost any kids movie (in fact she has the biggest and softest heart of just about anyone I know), and she has been one of the greatest examples of pointing others towards their Heavenly Home and Savior that I have ever seen.

I am beyond blessed to have a the best mother in the world (according to my completely unbiased opinion)

She has taught be to love openly, cry gracefully, laugh uncontrollably, smile unceasingly, and give wholeheartedly.

Today my mom turns 50! I can't believe it, and I hope she is having a party at home with the girls. (My parents swapped places a few days back so my mom could be home for a little while). So naturally here are a few pictures of the last few years and some of the adventures I have had with my mom. (I wanted to post old photos, but sadly I do not have access to any of them).
       

My Mom and I try to get out every once in a while and enjoy the beautiful things that are around us.

Mom loves all the missionaries out here. She continues to be a blessing in as many of their lives as she can. She especially loves all of the sight sisters and that makes them some of the luckiest missionaries on the planet. 

Mom is going to kill me for some of these pictures. We got to experience out first major league baseball game together. 

Ever since I was little we would go to Nicklecade or any other form of arcade/fair. At which my Mom would love to play Ski-ball. I am pretty sure I can beat her now, even though she will battle me on that point of discussion.  

Plus my Mom is freaking gorgeous!

My Mother has always made the gospel a priority not only in the home, but in the lives of all of us children. 

I think this Calvin and Hobbes comic describes one of the many ways my mom and I interact.

She has been there for all the ups and downs, which in my family has been some serious altitude changes in both directions. (fun fact: Mom hates heights, I would post some fun videos if I knew how).

This picture captures my parents relationship in a nutshell. I could not be more blessed.

I am sure there are days that I drive my mom crazy with all of my shenanigans. Yet she handles everything thrown at her with such poise and grace that it takes my breath away. Even though she is terrified of heights, hates spiders and really most creepy crawlies, screams and gets scared way too easy, has road rage, nags me to clean way too often, favors the grandchild over her own son, forgets that she has three children, loves the Bachelor, drinks way too much Coke Zero, binge watches better than anyone I know, and is an emotional mess at times, she is the best Mother any child could ever wish for. Love you Mommy!!

P.S. I apologize if my grammar is not super great, my principle editor (my Mom) is not available to proof-read this post.

An Influence For Good

Written By: Ben

I swear that every single time I get around to writing in this Blog I always end up saying something like "Sorry it has been forever, but I am going to start writing more frequently...". Clearly I have not held up my end of the bargain, so sadly you will just have to wait and see if I actually get better at writing in the blog. 

It doesn't necessarily make sense, but a lot and yet very little has happened since I last wrote. One of the big things that happened was the fact that I turned 25! My sweet Mother wrote about it so I won't include much. February 9th was the big day, and it is weird to think that pretty much a month has passed since then. I had a low key birthday, Mom and I went out to eat and went to the movies where we watched "The Upside" which I loved and related to in different ways. I was also able to go out with two very good friends of mine from here in Cleveland. These two love the Cheesecake Factory, so we went there, since I generally do not eat much, and of course the cheesecake was indeed delicious. Overall it was a very good birthday, even if I did turn a quarter of a century.

I have had the amazing opportunity to get to know many amazing people out here in Cleveland. It would take me far too long to talk about all of them, but I will say that they are each individually amazing people that have done so many things to make this whole experience a continual joy. I try and get out as often as my health permits me, which sometimes means only once a week and on other occasions it means multiple times a day. I have noticed that I do not talk about my health in much detail on the blog, I am not sure why that is, but whatever. Since the weather has been rather chilly, I have not gotten outside near as much as I would like, and I can easily say that it has affected me in ways that I don't really enjoy. So I am going to have to find a way to bundle up nice and tight so I can brave the frigid cold with a little more excitement. I am a firm believer in the phrase "The body and the spirit are the soul of a man" and when I don't get my outdoor fix my spirit takes a dip and respectively so does my physical health. Generally this shows in the subtleties of my mood and life, but it still has a seeping effect into the many facets of my life.

Overall I would gladly proclaim that I live a very blessed and fortunate life. 

I guess I should probably talk a little bit more about my health... Overall things are holding steady, but I guess a moment of brutal honesty is in order, some days it really takes a toll on me. I guess this is a reason I have been reluctant to write in the blog. I have felt very inadequate and weak, even though we all have days and moments like this, I have a hard time being open about it, especially when it is for anyone and everyone to read. I am sure many if not all of you can relate in one way or another, but nobody likes to show weakness especially when it comes to those we love or that we feel look up to us in some way (not to mention the ladies).  I think it is a universal feeling of wanting to put forth our strengths and best selves for all to see, and there is nothing wrong with that, but with this blog I guess I am trying to be very open and honest. Some days when all I can do is lay there and watch TV trying to control my pain or distention I feel pretty useless. Luckily I learned and continue to learn that if we can just do our best to play with whatever cards we are dealt, you usually come out a winner in many more ways than one. So yea life has a way of kicking us all while we are down, but it also has a way of making the simplest things impact us in far deeper ways than we could ever imagine. I cannot count the times a sunset or a star filled sky has touched the very depths of my heart, perhaps letting me know that even in the most trying of circumstances, life is still filled with many marvelous and spectacular miracles.    

This leads me to the pictures below:

 My Mother and I have been extremely fortunate to have had the blessing that is each and every one of these incredible Sister Missionaries. I couldn't swarm this blog post with pictures of all of the sisters we have gotten to know, but here are a few of them. 

It is funny, because on my mission I sometimes thought the sisters were spoiled and a tad full of themselves. (I of course was completely and utterly wrong). Each sister has been such an amazing blessing in our lives, and if I ever find out that some dirt bag hurts one of these beautiful daughters of God my cousin and I will throw them off the tallest cliff we can find. (I swear I am a very gentle human being). 

This last picture comes with a story. These two Sisters (Sister Hickenlooper on the left and Sister Lund on the right) were the first ones to give me and my Mother a tour at the Kirtland Historic Sights. During the tour my Mom chatted with Sister Hickenlooper and I had the amazing opportunity to talk a lot with Sister Lund in particular, and for me it was very special. I had been in Ohio less than a month when we took the tour. As I chatted with Sister Lund, and listened to her testify of the Savior it filled me with peace and calm during a very stressful and desperately hard time in my life. I was also able to share a story that is very close to my heart that I have only shared a handful of times in my life. I sadly never had the opportunity to tell Sister Lund how much she helped me, although I most certainly will remember the experience. She helped me to feel somehow accepted in a land that was foreign to me; she smiled at me like I wasn't there as a very broken and scared young man, but as an earnest seeker of the joys of life. I am sure she and the other Sisters have touched countless lives, but I will always be indebted to her for how she helped me in a very pivotal part of my life. Indeed she may never know just how much she did for me.  

I am confident that each Sister we have met has impacted and influenced many people in more ways than they could possibly realize. For they have all been a light in the life of my Mother and I. 

The Sisters are an astounding testimony to the simple truth that we often do not know the incredible amount of good we each can do in this crazy world.